"If He Had Been With Me" by Laura Nowlin

💬:   Autumn and Finn were best friends. For the longest time, they had been inseparable. Everything they did, they did together. Their relationship seemed like it would never break. Until it did. They grew up and apart for seemingly no reason at all. But that's just one of the harsh truths of life, right?

At the start of their freshman year, nobody remembers, or can tell, that the two of them had been good friends. Autumn has a boyfriend and a close group of unique friends. And Finn is that boy. The one that has people around him constantly. The one that lots of people want to be friends with. Naturally, all of Autumn's friends strongly dislike him because of this popularity and because of the people he chooses to hang out with. Despite their differences in friend groups, Autumn can't help but feel the growing and nauseating feelings of regret over their lost friendship. Why did they have to stop being friends?

As time passes, Autumn realizes that she must restore her friendship with Finny before it's too late. Because, after all, fate doesn't wait or anyone. 

A beautifully written coming-of-age/ love story,  If He Had Been with Me is a story that will stick with you for awhile. 

❤: Where do I even start about how much I loved this book? The harsh portrayal of growing up in this novel is fantastic. I usually look for relatable and realistic characters in the books I read and this one has so many. None of these characters are perfect, which makes them 100% more enjoyable. They each make tragic decisions, as do most teenagers do in their high school years. This is a heartbreaking tale of young love that I think all young adults should read. It teaches valuable lessons about time, love, friendships, and the miserable feelings that all teenagers feel while going through high school.  I will warn all who reads this book: make sure you don't read this in public because you will most likely cry. 

💘: My favorite character by far is Finny, who doesn't let his popularity change his kind heart or his caring nature. He is kind and respectful to everyone, especially Autumn. He is the ideal best friend- someone who is there when you need them the most (even if you haven't spoken in a long time). 

Dear Evan Hansen by Val Emich

Trigger Warnings: Suicide, Mental Health Issues

💬: Anxiety. Depression. Medication. Self-doubt. Low confidence. Broken arm. Sweaty palms. All of these things are daily problems for high school senior Evan Hansen. After writing a letter as a form of therapy, Evan suddenly finds himself in the principal's office sitting across from the Murphy's. After losing their troubled son Connor, the Murphy's are struggling to piece together the details of Connor's life outside of home. And when the Murphy's see Connor's name written in big letters across Evan's cast, they assume that Connor and Evan were friends. 

But this isn't the case. 

Evan and Connor weren't friends at all. In fact, they didn't even like each other and got into an altercation the day Connor died. Connor had signed Evan's cast without asking, mainly out of spite. Evan tries to explain this, but can't seem to say no to the grieving parents. Evan sends himself into a serious game of pretend when he tells Connor's parents that he was Connor's best friend. After word gets out about this, people start looking at him in the hallways. And suddenly, Evan doesn't feel so invisible anymore. Everyone takes notice of him- even Zoe, the girl he likes. He spreads awareness of Connor's death around school and with the help of a few others, he manages to get the message all over the internet. Thankful, the Murphy's invite Evan to their house multiple times a week just to hear him talk about their son. As Evan spends more and more time with them, he starts to realize all the anger, regret, and confusion they are feeling. He knows what he's doing is wrong, but he's helping them. Isn't he? 

As the lies keep growing and growing, Evan finds his secret to be untamable. And as people start to question his credibility, Evan comes face-to-face with his biggest obstacle of all: himself. 

❤: Not many books get me to cry. But this one did. To me, this story is a unique exploration of grief and sadness. Not just for the Murphy family, but for everyone in the story. The best part of this book, in my opinion, was its characters. My favorite character by far, Zoe, has so much depth and character development. Her story is so devastating and heart wrenching, but she is still a kind person. Her reaction to grief was so real, that it made me tear up a lot of times. Also, though I don't agree with anything he did in the book, Evan's character is so unique and sad that I couldn't help but feel sorry for him as more and more of his past was revealed. Evan's mom, Heidi, was another realistic character. She was just a mother who wanted the best for her kid AND for herself. And though Evan didn't always see it, she was doing her best for him. 

I recommend this book for teens who would like to educate themselves a little more on mental health issues. But I also recommend this book for people who need a reminder that they do belong and that someone will always be there to lift them up.